An introduction about myself (:
TP's nightmare
The Green Coach Bag with a silk green scarf
A Chocolate Addict XD
Badminton Craze
Singing Phantom
Buttery Nut
DESIRES
The Cute Carlo Rino Bag at the Airport
A cute red hot convertible
A million dollar monthly paycheck
And last of all ^^ A free all-expense-paid-trip around Europe XD
Hey its my fantasy ^^
LEAVE ME A TAG
Xue Er
October 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
Bernice
Karen
Seth
Joanna
Ham
Alson
Nadiah
ARCHIVES;
Hiaz...once again im doing things that i don't really wanna do. I used to dream of being a singer...an advertiser...now...the only dream i have is just to finish up whatever is left of my life...this song really shows what im feeling right now...its called Sunny Day by Fujiki Kazue From the show called Accuracy of Death.
What spilled out
Wasn’t a tear but a praying voice
What I looked up at
Was the sun above the clouds
I was living like I was asleep
I was always alone
Until the day I met you
I was always, always here
Even if there’s a love song
I could sing by myself
This warmth from the touch of your arms
Can’t be found alone
If I had put on a mask
Then I felt I might have forgotten
I shut away my memories
And locked them in a box
Even in that dark place
I was able to find you
Even if I can’t return
I’ll keep going farther, farther
Even if there’s a love song
That recalls loneliness
I can’t reach it alone
So I’ll walk out once more
Toward the door to tomorrow
With you…
I’ll transform sadness
Into kindness
And someday
Once I’ve set my true self free
The pain will disappear
I know it
I don’t need a love song
I can sing by myself anymore
I can’t find it alone
But with you I know
We can find a place where the sun shines
A tomorrow I’ve never seen
Hmmm...Been wondering what I'm going to do soon. The electives selections are coming up soon. Yet somehow it seems things are going askew. Exams are coming...the choir is accepting new members...changes everywhere left and right.
Haha...been thinking about the past lately. I've been knocking on doors that never answers, somehow just hoping that it'll open one day.
I really should move on. There is more to life than just singing and studying. Running among the flowers won't exactly may them look prettier but rather kill more of them each time i step on them.
Lazing among the daises...that would be a nice idea. And watching the skies go by. There is a saying that if you struggle so much to keep your head above the water, you'll drown.But if just relax, you'll find yourself floating.
Man...cant believe i lost my ring this week and my henna looks like it gonna fade away..T.T...so sad...haha...i miss karen...i really wonder what she's doing right now. Still havent post the letter to NP yet. Like so embarrassing to post such a late letter. haha..but than again, its the thoughts that count ^^. Hopefully they'll take that into consideration..haha..
I really pray that someday I'll find someone who will need and love me as much as I will to him. Its too lonely to face things by myself. A wild horse running solo can become lonely up in the mountains.
A princess...that's what i've been told i would grow up into. And forever more i will be a princess. Its such a lovely thought when you think about it as a child.
A pretty young lady sitting on top of her magnificent castle while she awaits her handsome young prince to carry her off to the alter on his white horse.
A beautiful dream...
But it was nothing but a beautiful lie!
A princess is one of those people who you pity every time you open that tabloid magazine. Her sweet smiles and pretty dresses slashed with headlines full of mockery and critiques. A princess must always smile no matter what.
Even when she is thrown into a cage of ferocious lions. The interest of her people must always be her first priority.
To live a life that is no longer just yours, that is what makes a true princess.
I've been doing my best all this while to escape from living the life of a princess yet somehow it keeps coming back at me. Running and screaming no longer helps. Being a child right now will not get me the things i want. My freedom is once again stolen away from me.
Is this the life i really want to lead for the rest of my days? Being nothing but a mere doll who never changes its emotions but only to stare blankly ahead as the walls start crumbling down.
I'm so tired right now...i just want to sleep.
I don't want to be a princess anymore.
I want to be me again.
I dunno what to say anymore these past few days. The walls just keep caving in. The silence is finally deafening. Words are always being spoken left and right and somehow i can't take it anymore. There is nothing left to motivate me to a better tomorrow. I wonder if thats what im suppose to be doing. Living an emptyshell of my life.
For these few weeks i've been killing myself more and more each time. No one can see my pain anymore. No one bothers. Its so frightful to have to stand by yourself in front of people who probabyly imagines you in a coffin half the time. Home is no longer the safest place for me anymore. All that lies in that shell is merely violence and abuse.